Small Thoughts 4

"Tsatsi lena le leng le le leng le lelelele" means "y'all are tall every day." Heh heh.

My nkhono (grandmother) just gave me a big ol container of motoho (sour sorghum porridge). I'm sure it will be edible warmed up with a crap ton of sugar in it. Hopefully. As is, it is like lukewarm, sour snot. 

Update: I used the gloppy motoho as the base for some sort of batter, baked it in a pot, and it turned into some kind of flan consistency. Actually edible!

People are always asking me what I cooked that day. No matter what I say (unless, of course, it's papa and moroho), I get a laugh or a head shake and a disapproving "Ah, che (no), ausi Senate." Come on, people. I can't eat that stuff at every meal like you all do.

Basotho walk sooo slowly. Yesterday a bunch of other people and I were helping my 'me carry stuff up from the road and I was apparently walking too fast for them, an they kept telling me to "stop running". I was not running, for the record, only walking at my normal pace. Well I was the only one to make it to the house before the rain hit. Hah. 

And people (especially my youngest ausi) always ask me if I'm not tired because I walk fast. But no, I'm not tired. Just be shh.

I was trying to look up motoho (Basotho sour porridge) on Google and the first few links are urban dictionary entries for slutty girls who only hang out with motorcycle guys hahaha

Overheard on Whatsapp:

Lee: Just saw a "Crop it like it's hot" t shirt.

Cassie: Was it a crop top lee?

Lee: *looks up crop top*. Yup, sure was. Makes it less interesting. Thought for sure it was about corn.

Text from Milea Re: my new hair style- "Faux hawks in Lethsoto. Could be a band name"

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! [imagine Finding Nemo gif here]

I thought form A math was going well until I collected their notebooks with their homework. Nope. Yeesh. They can't follow directions very well and they don't take notes.  Gonna get mean today.

I am keeping up my clumsiness reputation. I was trying to get the attention of a big group of students by standing on a chair. Little did I know it was missing a leg. Down I went right on my butt. Nice. 

People are always so confused why I go to the waterfall. I tell them that I like to see it. Really today I just wanted to take a (freezing) shower haha.

ALSO- my 'me and ausi were super confused why I hang up my clothes inside (in addition to not believing that I can wash clothes by hand). The reasons are simple- there are freak rain storms that make hanging clothes up outside risky, I don't have to babysit them so that no one nabs anything, I don't have to bother with clothes pins, no they don't need sunlight to be "sterilized," and I simply squeeze them out enough so that they're not dripping on me. Logic!

Received text re all this confusion: "People are easily confused here." Truth.

Lesotho life forces resourcefulness. I got some beets last weekend in town and I noticed some of them were moldy. Normally I would have just tossed them. But I'm in a village where you can't just buy whatever produce you want whenever you want. So, I cut the mold off, chopped them up, and put them in the pancakes I was making. 

Lettuce turnip the beet.

The first time I played hearts (on the computer, before I knew any rules), I accidentally shot the moon. Haven't been able to since.

My ausi just helped me bake my first loaf of bread in a pot on the stove. Nom nom. This after making cornbread muffins and chili this morning. They should rename Sunday as Food Day.

I was just informed about the super bowl. I didn't even have any idea that was still a thing. 

Text from PC security people: Alert- shots fired in Maseru this afternoon. Conflicts may continue on streets. Avoid Maseru if possible today. If you are in Maseru, stay off streets, away from political gatherings, and seek guidance from SSM or Duty Officer.

Jeeez...

I have a lot of issues with my school library. One of them being that someone thought it would be good to donate A Clockwork Orange to kids who barely pretend to speak English. I can hardly understand the language, so how do you expect a Mosotho 13-year-old to? But I do thank you, random donator of said book, that you are keeping me entertained when I am bored at school. You lucked out that your complicated-language book donation landed in the hands of an idle American. 

In order to prevent everyone from always being all up in my biznass, I have started writing notes to myself and to do lists and whatever I write at my desk (other than lesson plans) in French. Or Spanish or Arabic, whatever pops into ma tête. 

"What is life?"

"A mere blink."

My 10 year old ausi is learning about the past tense in school. Our conversation, half in Sesotho and half in English:

"What's the past tense of snake?"

"Like the animal snake?" *looks up 'snake' for her in my English/Sesotho dictionary to confirm*

"Yes, snake. I want the past tense."

"Uhh...it's not a verb. It doesn't have a past tense. Do you know what a verb is?"

"No I don't know. What is the past tense of snake?"

"There is no past tense!" *tries to look up 'verb' in the dictionary. It's not there.*

"You don't know? Snake. Snake!" (As if I didn't hear her properly)

"I know about past tense, and I know what a snake is, but that's not how past tense works."

"Yes, what is the past tense of snake!?"

*sigh* "I don't know, ausi, sorry."

The other teachers think that everything I do will be detrimental to me in some way. Don't go out in the rain, you'll catch a cold. Don't read in the sunlight, you'll damage your eyes. Don't sit on the ground, you'll hurt your butt. Don't take your shoes off at your desk because the floor is too cold for your feet. Chill, people!

Basotho are really good at waiting and doing nothing while they wait. Sitting on the taxi doing nothing, waiting in line at the bank doing nothing, waiting anywhere and doing nothing. Not even talking. Just standing.

Adventures in food: I think I ate like a corny dog, but instead of a hot dog inside it was a fish spine and bones. Mmm...not. 

It's amazing how many times a week I have to tell a random 'me that no, I won't marry your son. Go away. 

Grading quizzes makes me very worried for the future of this country. 

In the fastest mode of transportation, How long does it take to cross a country? America: like 8 hours max? Lesotho: probably longer. Imagine taking 8+ hours to cross Maryland. Ridiculous.

Lesotho's hottest music festival: Famupalooza. Three days of kobo-sporting, stick-shaking, ear-bleeding misery. 

It was oddly quiet today during lunch. Why? Because the teachers are enforcing "English only" today. The kids would rather be silent than speak English. 

Kid with a rolling backpack- "no, I am not a tourist. I am a person." So tourists aren't people, eh?

I just saw two kids playing seesaw with a log in the crook of a tree. Brilliant!

Life skills assignment: write about your future 

"I will build a house as big as a hotel near the road. When the people pass there they ask my daughter how much money for a room. When she answers them she says, sorry this is not a hotel but it is my father's house."

"Obviously, I want to be educated but there are some risks that can stop me from reaching my aim. Like the shortage of money, clothes, and food. But so far I have tried. And no one to help me with such thing because my parents left me. When I was 9 years old my father left and my mother left when I was 14 years old."

"The ones who will help me are my parents because they are the apples of my eye."

Last week a 17 year old in form B had to leave school and go to the clinic for treatment and a pregnancy test because of what is being called child abuse (since she is a minor) by her husband. She just got married a few days before school started (even though her parents didn't want her to, so the marriage is technically illegal), and last week she went back to somewhere in the mountains to live with the dude again and probably won't be coming back to school.

Multiplying fractions is no problem,

Top times top and bottom times bottom!

It's Friday Friday gotta get down on Friday

Email from Mom:

Have you been eating the local mushrooms or something?
I am going to bed. Good night. I love you anyway.

My taxi this morning had a girl collecting money. It's pretty much always a guy. Interesting.

What's the deal with those lumpy creases on fatish dudes' heads? They're gross looking. Like your brain farts need to be stored somewhere before you can find a place to deflate. 

Taxi strategies: get (or pretend to get) a phone call so they turn the music down. Avoid the back seat for the sake of your head crashing against the roof bar and for the sake of the rest of your body having any room whatsoever. Get a seat by the window, open it, and when a Mosotho inevitably asks you to close it, close it a bit and then pretend it's stuck and that it won't close more, this for the sake of your being able to breathe.

Taxis: dogg pound, romantic, born again, tazz

Just taught my form Cs "haters gonna hate" and how to Z- snap. The essentials. 

My principal is a Jehovah's Witness, and therefore is not supposed to vote. What?

My principal is standing right outside whacking kids' hands with a stick two or three times each for coming to school late. Hello, corporal punishment.

It bothers me when people wear button up sweaters as shirts. 

Overheard on Whatsapp: "Want to start a hide and seek league in Lesotho. Basotho think we are hiding all the time anyways."

You know how in old cartoons you could always tell which part of the animation in that scene was going to move because it was a slightly different color or texture from the background? I want that for real life for the rocks I'm about to step on. Is it gonna stay put or is it going to slide and make me fall on my butt?