Small thoughts 22

(ST 21 will be out with the end of my vacation posts)

All I want is a gym and a taco stand in my village. Is that so much to ask?

'Me with a toddler piggybacking her, "Can I give you the baby?" No, I think you should hang on to that. 

Why doesn't everyone in the western world carry anything and everything on their heads? After only a few tries, I'm able to carry a 20 L bucket of water (20 kg) up there with ease. I'm not quite at the level of most bo'me who don't even have to hold it, can swivel their heads around to talk to people, and can even get down and grab something on the ground without the bucket falling, but if I were here 2 more years, it might happen. 

Things that ruin any Lesotho PCV's day: Hitting your "Basotho quota" way too early in the day. Ain't nobody got the patience for those nasally, mocking "hi"s, shouts of "Lekhooa!" or bontate creeping on you at that hour of the day. 

You know you live in an isolated place when you go to town and have to decide between buying eggs and buying dog food because you can't carry both up the mountain to your house. 

Occasionally at traffic stops, the police make everyone get out of the taxi and "search" our bags. Like today, I had my hiking backpack and opened the top for the cop. She half heartedly prodded around for 3 seconds, then moved on to the next bag. Don't you think that if I were carrying drugs or weapons or something, I might wrap it up or put it at the bottom of my bag? You're already doing these unnecessary traffic stops just to get some beer money from bribes, not because there's any kind of threat of dangerous drivers or whatever the heck you're looking for. Are you also that bored that you just want to casually peek into people's bags for fun and not even pretend like you're being serious with your job? 

"You look like you're doing push-ups and happy crying" -Emily, re: a photo of Ricki

"Your grandfather looks like an Erlenmeyer flask." 

"I just kinda want to take that papa and stick it in my jacket."

Conjerkey jerkey, what's your turkey 

Th VMMC (voluntary medical male circumcision) campaign here has recently passed out a lot of promotional swag, so everyone and their mother is wearing a "rola katiba" (take off the hat, aka the foreskin) beanies, featuring their signature anthropomorphic penis. They're telling people to take off the metaphorical hat by giving them real hats.

Every time this taxi driver shifts gears, the shifter knocks the wiper stick up, sending the wipers squeaking and stuttering up and back down the windshield. Each taxi has its own janky quirks. 

No electricity = no entertainment. Gas ran out = no cooking. Back to bed it is. 

This morning, the "first day of school," I got up early, painfully got dressed in the cold, and more painfully walked to school on the frosty path. When I arrived, the groundskeeper told me that there was no school because of the snow (which melted as soon as it hit the ground last week), and that I should come back tomorrow. Did no one care to inform me, not even my ausi? Gahhh. The semester is getting off to a great start. 

Things I have very little patience for: dull knives and dull people. 

"You dog should be sterilized." -student

"Why?" -me

"Ahh, those potatoes..." -student

[in Sesotho, the nickname for testicles is litapole, or potatoes]

"And it will become so fat." -student

"Fat?" -me

"Yes, because it is not working too hard." -student

You know the struggle is real when both you and your ausi are debating together whether or not it's worth it to go to school today. Are people actually gonna be there today? Who knows. 

Overheard on Whatsapp: 3rd world winter problems

"Whoa. It's hailing on me. Inside the classroom." -Jen

PSA: do not attempt to make corn tortillas with papa flour. It doesn't work at all. It just makes a big ol' mess. 

Maybe when it stops getting below freezing every night and only barely above during the day, just maybe, I won't want to kill everything. Winter is not a good look on me. 

I swear, if I didn't have a dog, all my village conversations would stop at "Hello, how are you?" I had no less than 5 small conversations concerning my dog in less than an hour. As I was walking to the shop and was walking well ahead of my dog who had stopped to sniff something or pee on something or whatever, one ntate warns me, "U sk'a e lebala. Ua e lebala, ea tsamaea, ea bapala." "Don't forget it. You forget it, it leaves, it plays." Wise words, ntate. My dog also doesn't know yet not to come into the shop, and it was sniffing around in a box of trash in the shop, so the 'me at the counter was like, "Ntja ea hao, e sele." Your dog, it is silly/troublesome." Truth.

I'm experimenting with different bed heating methods. I've tried a hot water bottle, and today, I'm trying heating bricks in my gas oven and wrapping them in newspaper and cardboard. Pulling out all the stops in the name of warm toes.